Giving Up

Taking the plunge and choosing to be a mother at a young age (28 year old) takes a lot of sacrifice from the part of the woman. There are so much to give up. So much of sacrifices to be made. So much of commitments. 

And mind you, I am speaking from experience. I am already feeling that I am missing out so much on life in general being pregnant (and the baby is not even here yet). While I love being pregnant and expecting the little one, sometimes I couldn't help but sit back and think if it is all well worth the things that I have gave up or is giving up for. 

Yes, unfortunately I feel that sometimes I am flying solo - trying to cope and comprehend all of these. It can get overwhelming. And men being men can lack the attentiveness. To them, life goes on as usual. No, it is not business as usual. Why does a woman has to give up so much whereas the men can resume their own lives as it was before?

I feel I lack support sometimes. :(

Take for instance the following situation : 

(1) I have not been going out socializing with my colleagues/friends.

Because they will end up inevitably drinking and smoking and I don't intend to be the party-popper. Trust me, I LOVE hanging out for after-office drinks (or occasional clubs) but I have to sacrifice that because I am pregnant. And this will continue on even after I give birth because I intend to breastfeed. Eventually, I stop getting invites altogether. 

(2) I don't work late anymore. 

Not because I can't, but because I get tire out easily. And I have to eat dinner on time instead of calling for fast-food delivery. Plus, I don't feel safe driving by myself late in the evening in the current rainy weather these days. I don't even want to think if my career progression will be affected due to the pregnancy or not. I have learn to set aside my work commitments and learn to prioritize - a huge sacrifice when I am at the peak of my career, trying to climb the corporate ladder.

(3) I can't go out and entertain my clients.

This is the part of my job which I love but have to decline each time because I can't drink. 

(4) I can't go to the gym in my free time. 

Due to obvious reasons.

And when my activities are limited, I do get back home early (and by early I meant around 8:30pm) - what do I get? I stare at the four walls of my condo. Or hang out with my parents if they are free. All I am asking for is that it would be nice that I am being assured of the things that I am giving up is well worth it. All I want is for an emotional pillar and support. 

All I want is to have someone to come back to at home. To talk to. To communicate. To share the excitement. 

Is that so much to ask for?